If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
