can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize