Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize