A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
