I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
