ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
