He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize