In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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