It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
