walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize