So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
