So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize