she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
