I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
