You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
