I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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