wrigley field is MILF paradise
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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