im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
