My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
