every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
