this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
