I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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