I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
