tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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