ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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