Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize