Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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