How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
