Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
