im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
