we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
