Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
