shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
