I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
