My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
