Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My feet surprised me
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