dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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