i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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