I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
