So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
