I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize