we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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