batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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