I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
