I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
