butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
40s are totally the cure
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
