I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
