Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize