My room smells like vodka and shame
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
