have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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