Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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