Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
