Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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