Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
