I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
