eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
