You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
