My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
