Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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