Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
