He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
