Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize