How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
