Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
this hospital has no fireball
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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