it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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