I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have post one night stand depression
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