Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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