He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
please don't ironically join a cult
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