i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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