ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
