South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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