saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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