She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
