just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
