i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
