ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Randomize