Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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